Drawing of a baby mule deer

Copyright 2005 milesmonkey7

Hi, this is Jenny from 321 News. Today, we have a guest speaker. I will be interviewing a Mule Deer named Bob. He will be telling us about everything from his athleticism, to his love of life, to his weight loss techniques. So, sit back and enjoy folks, because this deer has got some attitude. Here he comes, now. Give a big warm welcome to Bob.

Hello Bob. How are you doing?

Well, I am doing just fine, Jenny.

Ok. Well Bob, today I am going to ask you a few questions about your life. Ok.

Sure, I'm ready.

Q: How would you describe your looks?

A: Well I'm a handsome grey in winter, and when I've been tanning in the summer I turn a smoky reddish brown. When I'm not on the usual strict diet I'm around 125-130 pounds, but SLIM DEER has really been helping me with that one. I've got some crazy nine inch ears that I just can't control. One second there up, and the next there sticking out sideways. I've also got these four-feet-high antlers, and don't go thinking I'm not appreciative. It took me 150 days to grow these things.

Q: Where do you live?

A: Well, you know me, I'm not into that soft fluffy grass stuff. I prefer the rough steep canyons, brushy pockets and other shrubby areas.

Q: What do you eat? And speaking of eating, tell us about your stomach.

A: Say, you know the deer I mean deal. Ha-ha-ha.

Q: Sir that isn't funny. May we please get back to the questions?

A: We deer are really into that whole vegetarian thing. And about the stomach, I have multiple parts, which is good, because man oh man I can eat. Don't tell my dietician I said that.

Q: What are your physical capabilities?

A: Well except for putting on the occasional ten pounds, I'm a lean, mean deer machine. I can do this thing called stotting where I leap up to eight yards and land with all four feet. And did you know I can get up to forty-five miles per hour?